Paradise by the Dashboard Lights

Dear Universe,

It's been awhile, things got bad last week and I couldn't deal. I seriously just shut down. I know that's not productive and doesn't help the situation, but there you have it. These meltdowns I have been going through since I got sober are brutal. I get so lost in the negative emotions and I can't get out. Very, very frustrating to say the least.

They have been getting better, occurring less and less. If I could just get this one last piece of the puzzle that is my shattered life put in place things would even out. That piece of course is a job. Yes, I'm still looking, still struggling to get anywhere with it all.

I do have a piece of good news. I just got off the phone with a prospective employer in regards to an application I put in. I did make it through the phone interview and have an actual face to face interview scheduled for tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I need a job, but I really think I would enjoy working at this particular place. It is a retail store that i shop at often. It also would allow me to utilize everyday life skills I have already acquired. And it correlates beautifully with one of my hobbies.

Since I don't want to go back to a career, and just want a job, this fits the definition perfectly. I'm sure they are going to be interviewing more then just me for the position, but maybe you can smile on me an exert some influence in my favor.

I can see how this job would still give me the flexibility to have meet all my obligations without getting overstressed and exhausted. I will still have the time for my DIY projects, time to take care of my home the way I like. Best of all it would give me the time and energy to still have quality time for Mr. That is important to me right now.

We have worked so hard over the years taking care of and providing for everyone else. I really feel like it is my time to focus on me and the things I want. I'm a simple girl, my wants and needs are simple. I want to keep my comfortable home and have the time for my projects. I also want an erxcellent relationship with Mr. We have that, but it takes time and attention to sustain it. We are evry close to having an empty nest and I will sustain my great relationship with Mr. if it's the last thing I do.

I know I sometimes say things that could be considered detrimental about him, but that is just me venting, getting as much negativity out as possible and leaving it behind. You know that it always helps me to shed some light on these issues. It sincerely helps me deal with it all.

Wish me luck, hopefully this is the answer I have been looking for.

Love,
Lolita Lilyflower