Another long day of struggling to find a job and worrying about what will happen if I don't. Mr. knows how difficult the economy is and isn't pushing me. He knows I'm trying, but I still feel like I'm letting him down.
I wish I didn't feel that way, it's not anything he does that makes me feel that way. I just feel like for the first time in my life I'm not meeting my obligations. But then I look at everything I do during the day and wonder how many obligations I need to take on?
We would both be happy with me staying home full time and taking care of home and hearth. If we could just get the economy to cooperate. I don't say much about it to Mr. because I know he feels bad that he doesn't make enough to support us comfortably. I don't blame him that, it's just the way the world is today.
Our generation is used to the idea of the woman working outside the home in addition to the man working. I did that for 30+ years. I raised my kids, I took care of sick widowed family members when they had no one else. How much more is expected of me? Why do I feel like I am just not strong enough anymore to do it all?
I have no answers to those questions today.
Love,
Lolita Lilyflower
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