Happy Birthday

Dear Universe,

Today is a special day, it's my daughter's birthday. I can't believe I'm a mother to a 22 year old.  I can't believe I'm a mother to a daughter. As you know I never wanted to be a mom, until I did. Fickle, I know. I also never wanted a daughter. I even married a man whose family is mostly males. I guess I got lucky in having one of three girls born in four generations.

Of course you know I never wanted a girl because I was such a horrible child, I never wanted to take the chance of having a daughter just like me. I'm happy to say she is nothing like me. She doesn't look like me, she doesn't have my personality, not even a hint. No, she is most definitely her father's daughter. That's a good thing.

I've gotten used to the unusual haircolors, currently she is sporting pink. I've somewhat gotten used to the face piercings, though I still don't like them. I love her tattoo's, but I love tatt's in general. I love her.

She has had her struggles and that breaks my heart, but she seems to be making some smarter choices lately. She finally left that jerk she has been kowtowing to for the last 6 years. While we did tell her she could come back home if she needed to when she left him, she did not come home. I'm grateful for that, we get along much better when we don't live together.

She is in a bit of a tough situation though. She is living with a guy who she has been friends with since highschool. They are platonic, but I don't know if it will stay that way. She is also dating someone new. I'd be happy for her except for the fact that the other guy has a girlfriend. Yeah, he is cheating and our daughter is the other woman. Not something I think is a good idea, but at 22 they just don't listen much.

She is finally making some progress moving forward with her life plans. It will be so much easier now that she is free of the jerk. He was such a negative influence, did not support her or her ambitions in any way. I'm so grateful that she got tired of that and made changes while she still could. I'd love to be a grandmother, but a child with him would have been a disaster. Besides, she's just not ready yet to be a parent. I get that, at 22 she has a lot of time yet before she needs to worry about it. I'll be patient, I can wait. I really just want her to be happy and I accepted a long time ago that her idea of happiness may not be mine. That's okay. She's making steps towards what will make her happy and really what more could a mother ask for?

Love,
Lolita Lilyflower