It's days like this I wish I was still writing my sex blog. Then I could tell you how nice last night was. Finally some privacy and some stress relief for me. Of course it's not just vanilla sex, though that's fun too.
I've considered telling my friends in the TTWD community about this blog and trying to combine the two. I miss being faerie and Mr. being Musicman. I just haven't decided yet what I want to do. It's nice to have a place to write about the everyday stuff and not just all the D/s stuff.
Of course the other bloggers in the community always read what I wrote no matter what the subject. It just feels like a different voice writing here. And, Since no one really reads here, I think I feel a little freer to write.
I got to know many of the people in the community very well, I know their real names, where they live and all about their families. It is nice to make friends, but I think once I started doing that it became harder to write the difficult stuff.
Of course I've also realized that thanks to menopause I don't handle the stress of life nearly as well as I used to. The things we have going on now are difficult, but they are in no way as difficult as some of things we have faced in the past. I made the mistake of thinking for a bit that it was being a sub that was making me feel weak. I now know that is not true.
If anything being a sub made me stronger, cause I believed in him as my Dom to be there to support me and reel me back in when I needed it. It is those stupid hormones flying around uncontrolled that make me feel weak. That was a huge problem when we first embarked on a D/s lifestyle, my emotions and how out of hand they were.
Then when we had an empty nest, we had all the time in the world to play and play we did, often. I was able to stay on an even keel then. I didn't experience so many highs and lows. I'm just not sure what I really want I guess, oh those lovely hormones.
Love,
Lolita Lilyflower
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