Another Soul to Keep

Dear Universe,

Just when I think things can't get any worse, they do. Our son showed up last night, belongings in tow, asking to move back in. Despite the fact that we haven't heard from him in over 4 months, we said yes.

I'm so frustrated with these kids. I'm a Mom, I love my kids, but I don't always like the decisions they make. My children seem to need to learn everything the hard way, and they don't care who they hurt in the process. I want the best for them, but I'm tired of being hurt by them.

I am off to another frustrating day of training at a job I don't want, and now I have the added worry of wondering what is going on at my home with the kids. They are notorious for not getting along well with each other. They are both certainly old enough to not behave like spoiled 2 year olds having a temper tantrum, but historically that hasn't been the case.

I thought we had gotten to a time in our life when we could start to relax and slow down a little. Maybe even focus on ourselves and having some fun. Now, I anticipate us never having time to ourselves. No private time means no playtime.

Playtime should probably not be my focus, but if I can't enjoy life occasionally, what is the point of working so hard? If possible, I feel more lost then ever about what I am supposed to be doing with my life. The only thing I know for sure anymore, is that Mr. loves me unconditionally and hopefully this won't add distance between us.

I had already been struggling to not pull away too much due to the demands on  my time with this new job. Now, after a long, hard day at work I can't even look forward to playtime when I get home. Can I run away now? Of course, I could, but I never have any success talking Mr. into going with me. I can't go without him because without him, I have no reason to live.

I'm begging you, please send me some positive news soon. I seriously don't know how much more stress I can take. Especially since my main form of stress relief has been greatly curtailed due to having no privacy. Yes, I'm stuck in a vicious circle and can't find my way out.

Love,
Lolita Lilyflower