Gratitude

Dear Universe,

More snow over night, the light, fluffy, pretty kind. So pretty to look at, not as much fun to drive in.  Musicman(aka Mr.) always makes sure I have a good car with good tires, so driving in the snow isn't all that bad.

I'm trying to invite more positive energy into my life and am feeling the need to practice gratitude. I have so many things to be grateful for.

Musicman, yes, I miss referring to him as Musicman. I may not exactly know who I am at times, but I always know who he is. He is my Musicman, the man who saved me from a terrible life. The man who loves me even when he doesn't really understand me. The man who has always said, "I just want you to be happy," and he sincerely means that. Everyone should have a Musicman in their life. He is the most amazing person I know and he's all mine. I'm very grateful for that.

My beautiful, talented, daughter and the grand baby she's carrying. No, I'm not thrilled that she isn't doing it the "right" way. I wish she was married and more stable before she becomes a Mom.  I just know how much harder it will be for her with out a strong partner to help her. It's important that I remember this is her journey, not mine. I'm grateful to be here and be able to offer her the support she needs. I'm grateful that within just a few short months there will be a new little one to love, and I'm looking forward to seeing Musicman as a Grandpa. He's gonna be awesome.

My smart, if challenging son. He hasn't lived up to his potential, and been more of a challenge than I would have liked sometimes, but he's so much like me. He doesn't let people push him around, he is a unique soul. He is a leader who needs the chance to find his voice. I see so many qualities in him from his father, he will be a fine man with lots to offer the world.

My home, it may be too large for me to keep up with now, but it has been a haven from the world for us. It was a perfect place to raise our kids and soon will have the laughter of babies in it again. It's not a showplace, it's not perfect, but it's filled with love.

My job, I may not love it, but it really is what I asked for. A way to utilize my experience and knowledge from my time as a caregiver without all the stress. No one dies or becomes sicker if I don't get it all done immediately and perfectly. The atmosphere is different, one I'm still adjusting too, but I can be me there and I don't have to play any games or kiss any one's butt to to survive.

My friends, both in real life and those I've met here through my writing. Their love and support has meant so much to me. I've found people who understand me and while they may not be exactly like me, or facing the challenges I face, they still welcome me with open arms. They may being experiencing their own challenges and struggles, yet they still take a moment to reach out with a hug or kind word. That's priceless and I'm so grateful for them.

Yes, today is a good day to practice gratitude. Maybe next time I am caught in the downward spiral I will remember this post and come back and read it and remember how much I have to be grateful for.

Love,
Lolita Lilyflower