Worried

Dear Universe,

Ugh, another day to face at work. I'm trying very hard not to be irritated with my employers, but it's been hard. They haven't been prepared for the training and it is a huge waste of my time. Add in to that the fact that they lied to me about the hours and I'm really not a happy camper.

As if that isn't enough to deal with the saga with my son continues. He did not come home last night. He left all his stuff here, even his coat. It's cold outside, below freezing. Where could he have gone without his coat?

Because he didn't come home, and we haven't heard from him my mind has been racing with all the worst case scenarios. That kept me from sleeping well. I was up at 5am searching the house to make sure he wasn't here.

I had it in my mind that he was somewhere in the house and had done something to hurt himself. I searched the attic and checked the pool area, but he isn't here. That is some comfort, but not much. What if he went somewhere else and hurt himself? Do we call the police and have him reported missing? I just can't believe he is being so thoughtless about our feelings. I'm worried.

I have also been fighting off a bit of a cold since the weekend and woke up feeling like crap today. I'm sure it didn't help that I slept badly, but now I have another day of sitting at work twiddling my thumbs while running a low grade fever.

It seems fitting though that I am having to deal with all this. I had actually been thinking of writing in my other blog again. Friends have been contacting me and encouraging me to go back to it. I want to go back, but it seems so selfish to take my time to focus on something that is really just for me when I have so many other things to do.

I just don't know what to do about anything right now. Will I ever get to a point where I don't feel so lost?

Love,
Lolita Lilyflower