Manifesting the Things I Seek

Dear Universe,

I survived Monday. I still don't feel very confident that I know what I'm doing on this new job, but it will come. Time for me to practice some patience and settle in and dig deep to get where I want to be. I believe within the next few weeks I will be able to request better hours, that will help too.

I'm going to concentrate on manifesting part time hours. I know what hours I want, I just don't know if they will let me work them. Everyday I'm going to picture in my head how the conversation goes and hearing them say yes to what I request.

I need them to understand that I am committed to my job, but it's not my first priority. My family is my first priority, and balance. I have been desperately seeking balance in my life. I want to have the time and energy to do things other than just earn a paycheck.

Yes, I understand it's important that I contribute financially, but that isn't the only important thing in life. Too much time spent giving to everyone else is what caused the massive burn out. I won't risk that again. I also can't dive the other way and just play all the time, that's not fair to Mr.

I have come to accept that growing up the way I did, constantly on guard from the abuse, is one of the reasons I now resent having to work so hard. I really believe that it was always in the back of my mind that if I worked hard, I would some day have the time to play. The time to be the child I never felt I got to be.

I worked hard, we built a good life together and just because I can't play full time doesn't mean I have to give it all up. I need balance, I seek the balance.

If I sound more positive today, it's because I am. I can thank Mr. for that. Mondays are always difficult for me because I see the weekends as mini celebrations of us. I never want those to end, but they must. Him having the energy and the desire to play last night really helped. I can't face a week at a time without the possibility of being intimate with him, I just need him too much.

I won't apologize for that, I will embrace it and seek the balance that allows us to continue having a wonderful life together. I am so lucky to have him in my life, to have his love. I seek to be the strong and balanced woman he deserves. I'm a work in progress and I'll keep working to be the best partner I can be.

Love,
Lolita Lilyflower